BullBuster Business Coaching – Taking You From Bull to Brilliance https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com Bust Your Bull to Bank Your Brilliance Sat, 05 Jun 2021 01:45:26 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.8 Top 5 Reasons Why Cows Should Rule The World https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/top-5-reasons-why-cows-should-rule-the-world/ https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/top-5-reasons-why-cows-should-rule-the-world/#respond Tue, 19 Jul 2016 15:05:40 +0000 http://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/?p=6337 In this crazy world, I thought some levity was called for.  So, I’d like to present the Top 5 Reasons that Cows Should Rule the World:

  1. Cows can’t hold weapons. They don’t even know what to do with them.  Enough said.
  2. Methane gas would be our biggest world issue. And, there might be laws passed that it’s ok to emit gas anywhere, at any time, making everyone feel greatly relieved. Feeling relieved is so much better than holding gas in which can lead to bloating, foul moods, and bad behavior.
  3. cow3Bad behavior would be met with a blank stare and chewing the cud. You’d know that the path to transformation is within, not in violent actions.  And you would give in to good actions just to make them stop staring at you. So, fart and get on with it.
  4. Every day, twice a day, you’d get fresh milk. Fresh milk goes great with cookies. Cookies make you happy. Happy people do great things and inspire others to happiness. Imagine the world if every day had a milk and cookie session in it.
  5. When trying to influence cows to make laws, you’d have to go into a field and have a music competition to get their attention instead of filibustering. Music is much nicer to listen to than bullshitting.
  6. cow2Every day would involve frolicking in the grass. We’d focus on nature, and the scariest stories in the news would be about how such thin legs can support all the body weight of a cow on your back. And, another benefit would be that cows would inspire us to frolic more, and that would mean we wouldn’t get fat from eating milk and cookies every day.

Got any other reasons why cows should rule the world?  Please add them to the list below!

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How Energy Impacts Your Life and Business https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/how-energy-impacts-your-life-and-business/ https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/how-energy-impacts-your-life-and-business/#respond Fri, 08 Jul 2016 16:17:00 +0000 http://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/?p=6317 Watching France beat Germany was, for me, exhilarating.  First, yay France!  I love my German friends, however, France played an excellent game and after so many defeats by Germany, it was wonderful to watch them triumph.

As I evolve in my work with energy, this game had another fascination for me – how energy impacts the game. Because the correlations of this to your life and your business are extraordinary. If you were watching (or if you watch any sports game) you’ll hear the crowd cheering loudly for their favorite team.  That’s energy in motion – as the cheers got louder and louder for France, you could see the French players be energized by it and their intention to win made more powerful. The energy of the crowd made their energy, and their mission, more likely.

Think about your own life and business. Are you surrounded by fans, or by naysayers? Naysayers will zap your energy and magnify your feelings of struggle. Fans will supercharge your intentions, and make it more likely that you will accomplish what you set your intentions to. So, if you’re struggling at all in your life or business, look around you and ask, “Am I surrounded by fans, or do I need to find more of them?” If you need more fans, figure out what kind of support would be most helpful, and then be open to receiving it from unexpected sources.

french soccer 2Watching team France, the other energy was that of solidarity. They played together – they passed the ball, they looked out for each other as one family, united in their goal. The German team seemed to lack that synergy, and attempts to score seemed haphazard and uncertain, which resulted in balls that completely missed their mark.

If you work with a team – are you a united front, or are you blindly shooting at goals and missing the mark? If energy is scattered, it lacks power and consistency and that makes goals harder to achieve. When a team shares energy and directs it as one, the results are clearer, and the successes more likely.

The other energy that was present was excitement. The fans were excited to watch, and the players excited to play. For a while, the German team maintained their excitement and commitment to win, but as it became clearer that victory was not coming for them, their faces showed dashed hope, instead of excitement. However, they stayed in the game, even with scattered attempts to reach the goal, they stayed.

french soccer 3How excited are you about what you do? This is not exactly the same as passion, but a very close energy. Excitement is what fills us with energy to do what we love doing, and it’s what causes the right clients/customers to be drawn to us – because our excitement is a magnet for the right people. However, if you lack that excitement that’s when getting business becomes harder, because people may sense that you are not energetically aligned with what you are doing.

If you are noticing a struggle in your business, check in about whether you actually want to do what you are currently marketing and selling. If not, it’s time for a change.

The flow of energy is so important for each of us to recognize to inform us of why we are struggling, or why we are succeeding, so we can stay in alignment with the success and dreams we each have.



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How Energy Impacts Your Business https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/how-energy-impacts-your-business/ https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/how-energy-impacts-your-business/#respond Tue, 21 Jun 2016 13:28:59 +0000 http://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/?p=6239 What the heck is the deal with energy?  As I pay more and more attention to it, I notice that energy is all around us.  In fact, I work with my client’s energy as the key ingredient to a successful business strategy.  But, if you had any doubts about the importance of energy, let me share with you an example I was recently reminded of.  And, it’s one I’m sure you’ve experienced, but perhaps were not experiencing it energetically.

You ever hear of, or say, the expression, “when it rains, it pours!”?  That’s all about energy.  Sometimes, you may have a month where, for whatever reason, you were just too busy to do as much work networking, promoting, marketing, etc.  So, eventually, it’s not pouring new leads any more, and maybe it’s not even drizzling leads…energy is expressed in action, and that action shows the universe intention.  So, did you ever notice that in the month you make it out to, say, 6 networking events, make 20 sales calls, do your social media, etc – THAT is when “coincidentally” you get a “random” business referral, or, that someone contacts you, “out of the blue” wanting to hire you?

That’s energy.

Brain connected by wires receiving energy pulses.

Brain connected by wires receiving energy pulses.

And what’s such a relief is that if you get NO clients, and NO leads from those 6 networking events, that month that you spent that energy going to them, allows the universe to bring you opportunity, even if it’s from another source.  So, in a weird way, that networking DID bring you opportunity because it created the pathway to let the clients find you.

Pay attention.  The energy you keep to yourself does not grow your business.  The energy you express, and put out into the world is what stimulates the growth you want.  Pay attention to what you are doing, and what you are saying – your words, and your actions are essential to your success.

So, if you are having a rough month, ask yourself, what are you DOING about it, what are you THINKING about it, and what are you SAYING about it?  If you are sitting at home, thinking it sucks, and complaining to everyone you know, those actions and thoughts do not bring business.  If, instead, you consider what you want to happen next month, and create a plan to make that happen, and then go execute that plan, that is energy in action, and will attract opportunity to you.  And, that opportunity often looks very different than you imagined.

When you want to grow your business, if you’re sitting on your couch complaining, that won’t help you.  If you are out there doing the right sales and marketing strategies for you, you will have a combination of success – some will come directly from your efforts, and some opportunity will “coincidentally” show up just at the moment that you are working hard to get more clients. For more information on marketing visit Victorious.

Curious about how your energy is impacting your business?  Click here and find out!

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How Muhammad Ali Can Inspire Your Business https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/how-muhammad-ali-can-inspire-your-business/ https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/how-muhammad-ali-can-inspire-your-business/#respond Tue, 14 Jun 2016 13:22:00 +0000 http://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/?p=6247 Reading a recent article about Bill Clinton’s eulogy at his recent Memorial Service, I was fascinated at one of his key messages:

“He decided, very young, to write his own life story,” said Clinton. “He decided that he would not be ever disempowered.”

Last week I published a post about living boldly.  This quote certainly embodies boldness, and living your life by your own rules.  This is not an easy path.  It will not make everyone like you.  It is one, however, that allows you to live in the highest integrity you can.

This is the same approach I feel needs to be part of our businesses.  “Writing our own business story,” I believe, is the essence of what helps us determine the right strategies to use, and the right way to use each in full integrity – and that is what helps us attract more clients and grow our business.

We each need to embrace our own personal power, and infuse it into our business, rather than believing that someone else’s personal power is better than, or more successful than, our own.  But, just how do you do that?  Here are some ideas:

  1. Notice where your business activities make you feel discomfort, disgust, or like there is a knot in your stomach.  That’s a sign that you are trying to follow a formula that is not right for you.
  2. Mind your actions.  It’s great to invest in programs and help, but – are you DOING the work?  If not, find out why not.  If you make repeated investments and find you’re just not every doing the work (be honest) then you may not be aligned with what you really want to do – better to own up to that and make a change than waste more money trying to get someone else to give you the motivation you aren’t finding in yourself.
  3. Are you having fun?  At the end of the day, if you have your own business, yes, you wear many hats, and not all of them are fun.  BUT – do you at least enjoy the core work you are doing?  If you made enough to pay other people to do everything but the main piece (coaching people, helping people lose weight, taking photos, etc) does that make you happy?  If not, follow your energy to the place that you are most connected to your own story, your own truth, and create from there.

I love helping people to be deeply connected to their core energy and use that to run their business and create their ideal sales and marketing strategies.  Tomorrow night, there is still room to join me LIVE to work on infusing your energy into your sales strategy!  Click Here to join us!

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Are You Living Boldly? https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/are-you-living-boldly/ https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/are-you-living-boldly/#respond Tue, 07 Jun 2016 13:06:58 +0000 http://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/?p=6205 I just watched the film “Me Before You.” (Must-see film, and bring a box of tissues with you.) Something about it grabbed me. Specifically, these words:

[free yourself] from the kinds of choices you have so far felt you had to make………Live boldly. Push Yourself. Don’t settle. Wear those stripy legs with pride.

It made me wonder – do we live our lives boldly? How do we know when we are living boldly, when so much of the time is spent in comfort zones? Do we only live boldly when we, for a moment, take up that challenge to do something different, go someplace new, dive out of a plane…or is our entire life bold, if we are changing the way the world thinks, or just one person. Do we have to travel the world, dive the depths of the oceans, leave bad relationships, buy new wardrobes, run marathons, and change world thinking to be bold? Or, can it be as simple as choosing to go outside instead of staying in?

What does bold mean?

What does bold mean, to you?

I believe bold is something you can do to a font, but it’s also something you can do to your life. However, I believe bold is something different for each of us. I believe boldness is found in the every day choices we choose to make, (or behind the fear that causes us to avoid making choices.) There is boldness in each of us – whether it be to wear a bright color, eat french fries, or to decide to own our choices each day, rather than to avoid them.

Boldness can be found in the conviction to be you – wear funny clothes, smile or frown, fart in public, laugh at your own jokes – no matter what anyone else thinks at a given moment.

Living boldly, I think, can be about a moment, or a series of moments, but I wonder, does anyone really think they have a bold LIFE? If you are the person who has made many bold choices, do you think your entire life is bold? I bet the boldest of the bold emerged from being pushed outside their comfort zones, and possibly not by their own choice – so even if you have not lived boldly up to this very moment you are reading these words, you can make a bold choice. Right now. Whether it be to wear clothes that don’t match, talk to a stranger, stick your tongue out at a policeman, let someone read your deepest thoughts, share your first painting, speak in public, book that trip you’ve been talking about for years, move to a new place….you can choose your own boldness, the one that feels a little scary, and a little different.

What push are you waiting for to make that bold choice?

So, what can you do if you want to live boldly, but you aren’t sure if you are? Or, if you’re not sure what bold means to you? Here are some ideas:

  1. Journal. I got myself one of those fun journals with black paper. You can draw, you can write, you can paste in images that represent the word “bold” for you. This way, if you can’t find experiences or descriptions that you relate to you being bold, perhaps an image will do the trick.
  2. IcelandSurround yourself with images that represent you being bold. Another thing you can do is to surround yourself with images that connect you to boldness. For me, one of the things that represent boldness is traveling to destinations I’ve never been to before. So, I put a photo I took last year at the Blue Lagoon in Iceland by my desk so I am inspired by it every day. By looking at things you’ve done in the past that you think were bold, you can begin to connect to future ideas of boldness. I was so lucky to go over to Iceland as it’s such a beautiful place. One of my friends came with me and she suggested that we book a camper van to get around from Rent.is. That was actually a really good idea. We were able to drive around Iceland freely. That was so much better than going with a travel agency.

  3. Find mentors/sources of inspiration. Who do you think of as bold? Your parents, a sibling, a movie star, an astronaut? Make a list of all those people and what it is they did that you think was bold. You may find some clues for yourself there. I admire, for example, Richard Branson, for an unconventional life, and boldly knowing what he wanted and trying quirky ideas to live in a way aligned with who he is as a person. So, for me, boldness, in this instance, would be relating to the alignment of life to values/personality, and using daring ideas and actions to grow his company. Then, I’d want to think about how I can do the same things in my life to represent that flair of boldness.


What do you do that’s bold?

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Lessons From Leaning In To Pain https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/lessons-from-pain/ https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/lessons-from-pain/#respond Tue, 26 Apr 2016 13:52:02 +0000 http://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/?p=6138

A recent erotic massage had me meditatively reflecting on pain. See, I have a LOT of knots in my shoulders. In fact, my masseuse said I gave her a full day’s work in just an hour. 😮 When she worked the knots out, I was in tremendous pain. In fact, I am surprised that I was able to suppress my burning desire to yell out AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

I think the only thing stopping me was knowing how much better I would feel after the massage.  Instinctively, I tensed in response the pain.  That made it worse.  The more I fought it, the more pain I was in. If you get a chance, you can try Synergy Institute for the best massages.

So, I relaxed.  It was completely counter-intuitive.  I simply let out the breath I was holding, and allowed myself to embrace the pain.  And then a weird thing happened.

The pain went away.


This made no sense to me.  But since it worked, I practiced releasing my breath and relaxing, every time I caught myself bracing against it.  And, it worked every time.  I leaned in to the pain to find my way out of it.

And that got me thinking.  In life we have a lot of pain.  And in business, there is the pain of too much work, the pain of too little work, the frustration of hard work not paying off, to name a few.  And then there is money, relationships, and life in general.  😮  But here’s the thing.  We naturally tense against pain. We don’t want to feel it, we want to make it stop as soon as possible.   We struggle to fix the cause of the pain with a bandaid solution to work around it – ANYthing but feel the pain.

Ironically, it is when we lean in to that pain that the pain becomes less severe.  Rather than fretting about debt and how the bills will be paid, lean in to why the debt is there in the first place.  And if you really lean in, you stop blaming others and you find the true root cause, forgive it, and then move into a meaningful solution.  Lost your mojo in your business, or worked up to a milestone and now feel lost?  Take a moment to reflect on what’s happening before you jump into the fix.  Within pain lives so much creative abundance, it would be a shame to gloss over it. Or if the pain is becoming unbearable, you could shop now from web portals like Mellow which provide quality CBD oil for pain relief. However, this is just an alternative quick relief. The best way is to let it be.

In my shoulder pain lived worry, too much sitting, the convergence of forces driving me to inertia.  (I don’t know quite what that means either, but it was in my head, so why not write it…)  By accepting the pain, I got release, and then I found my creativity open and ready to flow.

Pain doesn’t feel good.  But if you allow yourself to feel it, rather than fight it, you just might have your next creative growth spurt.

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How to Get Shit Done https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/how-to-get-shit-done/ https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/how-to-get-shit-done/#comments Tue, 19 Apr 2016 13:07:13 +0000 http://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/?p=6121

Have you ever been frustrated by not being able to get shit done?  You might get to making your to-do-list, but before you know it, it becomes a “I should have done” list.

In today’s video, I share some tips with you on getting stuff done!


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Warning: Marketing May Be a Waste of Your Time https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/warning-marketing-may-be-a-waste-of-your-time/ https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/warning-marketing-may-be-a-waste-of-your-time/#comments Tue, 12 Apr 2016 14:05:04 +0000 http://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/?p=6065 https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/warning-marketing-may-be-a-waste-of-your-time/feed/ 2 An Over-Obsession With Formulas https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/an-over-obsession-with-formulas/ https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/an-over-obsession-with-formulas/#respond Tue, 05 Apr 2016 15:48:35 +0000 http://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/?p=5882

Seems like we are a nation obsessed with magic formula’s to success. I picked up a copy of a Forbes magazine (shown to the right) and was immediately struck by the subtitle “…he has the formula…” Formulas seem to be all the rage – apparently they sell magazines, but they also fill a void of “how will I”….

In my experience,  however, far too many entrepreneurs try to follow these “magic” formulas only to end up NOT achieving the success that formula brought to the person that created said formula.  We have bought into the idea that if a formula works for one person, it can work for everyone.

Every field has formulas – but they repeatedly work only for some people, some of the time.  Consider medicine – pills help some people, and not others.  For the ones they do help, they have varying degrees of success.  The same can be said of most formulas – they brought the creator to a great deal of success, but for those that try to follow that same formula, they rarely come to the same success.

Cooking is the ultimate formula – buy specific ingredients, assemble them a specific way, cook them precisely, and you will have a specific and proven result, right?  Then how come some souffles flop when numerous people follow the same recipe?  How come taste varies when several people cook the same dish?

This is because when we follow formulas, we forget one crucial piece in the recipe – you.  You are unique.  Therefore, how can you expect any recipe made by someone else to work the same way for you, that it did for them?  This is the question that drove me as I bought other successful people’s formulas only to find that their formula did not lead me to their success.  Because, you are the magic formula, the recipe must be tailored to fit you.  The longer I am in business, the longer I see that success is based on finding the unique brilliance that is the essence of each person I work with, and bringing them to their own success formula.

So, what can you do if you have bought into formulas, and found they didn’t work for you?  Or, what if you see a new formula, and just can’t help yourself, and you buy it?  Here are some ways to consider making the best of your investments:

  1. Set Your Expectations.  Instead of expecting that the formula that made XXX (insert guru name) a 6-figure month, re-set your expectation to be that you will learn a new idea, a new resource, or a new way to put an idea and a resource together.  That way, it’s not about duplicating someone else’s results, it’s about truly learning from their success.
  2. Make It Yours.  Part of learning from success is making it yours.  So, XXX gives you 10 magic steps.  Pick the ones that resonate with you, and ditch the rest.  You only like steps 2 and 5?  And you can see using step 9 with a minor revision?  Great!  Take that, integrate it into your own process, and create your own path to your own success, however you define that success.
  3. If You Teach It, Encourage Breaking the Mold.  Eventually, we may all create a formula to the success we want.  And, we may end up teaching it to other people.  In my book, when you do that, always ensure that you inform the people that learn from you to understand that these exact steps that worked for you are unlikely to have the exact same impact for them.  Encourage them to take your steps, learn from them, and then create their own way to use them.

I love helping business owners forge their own path to success, and break out of the molds that have kept them stuck and frustrated.  That’s why I created a group to look at the molds, break them, and then figure out how to make every business strategy they use into one that works for them.  Click Here to learn more, and April 11th is the last day to save $50 with coupon SAVE50.

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Sometimes a Pity Party is the Best Answer https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/sometimes-a-pity-party-is-the-best-answer/ https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/sometimes-a-pity-party-is-the-best-answer/#respond Tue, 29 Mar 2016 14:20:10 +0000 http://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/?p=5870 We all have bad days.  Sometimes, we have bad weeks.  And sometimes, we have bad months.  Yup, life happens, and it can be a shit storm, or shit awesome, depending on the the planetary alignment that is your life.  We hear lots and lots about how great someone’s business is doing, but on the way to doing great, every one of those entrepreneurs had a struggle.  We just don’t always get to witness the struggle, so when we are in our own, our BULL creeps up on us….

What I find is, during those low moments, we get really stuck in how XXX (where XXX = name of the entrepreneur you are comparing yourself to) is doing waaaay better than us.  In fact, they are doing the very thing we can’t seem to figure out yet (like having a $100k month, traveling the world and getting paid, getting 5 new clients in a day…).  This horrible habit of comparing ourselves to people that aren’t even playing in the same sandbox as us can really make us feel bad.  And, sometimes, it gets used as a way to take no action, get depressed, and hole ourselves up into a ball and wait for some undefined moment to pull us out of our funk.  (Can you tell that I have these moments too?  If not, yes, I do!)

Here’s the thing – funk moments have a dual edge.  On the one hand, they totally suck.  They deplete our energy, make us beat ourselves up, give up, etc.  On the other, they represent the source of questions that lead to ideas, that lead to creation.  So, here are some ideas for when you get stuck in a funk, to step in to the idea and creation process:


  1. Are you dreaming a new dream?  When everything you throw at the wall falls off the wall, and nothing seems to be working, ask yourself if maybe, just maybe, you don’t want it to work.  Maybe the truth is, it’s time for you to be moving on to another idea, another business, another way of running your business, because you’ve lost interest and motivation in continuing to do the same things the same way.
  2. Compare yourself to Oprah.  My mentor told me this once when I was complaining about how XXX was doing sooo much better than me.  I was bitching and moaning in a funk, and when he said this, it popped me right out!  Because, you see, the problem with comparing ourselves to someone way more advanced than we are is that well, they are way more advanced than we are.  So, though we can wish we were at their level, or having their life, we don’t, and we’re not going to jump from where we are right this moment, over to theirs.  (And, have you ever thought that there may be people out there thinking YOU are their XXX?  Because, for all you know, you are.)
  3. Is a big shift happening?  Let’s say you’ve been running a program, or writing a blog that has had lots of people attracted to it.  All of a sudden, attention tapers off.  You keep going at it, and more attention goes away.  What gives?  Well, it may be time to consider that the people that have been attracted to you and your information are now wanting something else.  Go find out what it is.  It may just be that habits and traditions and interest have changed – the way it did when social media first came about – and people’s interest has turned in a new direction.  There are lots of attitude and opinion adjustments happening right now in the world of marketing – make sure you tap into not just the “how-to” concepts, but also the bigger picture themes and behaviors related to your industry.
  4. Are you bored?  Maybe the end of your funk lies in finding a new activity, a new friend, traveling to a new place….getting yourself out of repetitive habits is a great way to end a funk.
  5. The way out is the way through.  I hate that expression.  But, it’s true.  Sometimes, you just have to feel whatever is there to end a funk.  Instead of avoiding what can be some hard feelings, just feeling them for a couple days can help you move into a more creative zone.
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How to Rediscover What You Already Know https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/how-to-rediscover-what-you-already-know/ https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/how-to-rediscover-what-you-already-know/#respond Tue, 22 Mar 2016 14:29:07 +0000 http://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/?p=5855 I recently moved to a new apartment.  I hated the whole thing.  First, I didn’t want to leave my old apartment – I had lived there for years, loved the building, loved the location, knew many people in it that I liked, and loved my view.  Then there was the packing up the place that was fairly traumatic, and then un-making the whole life I had made there.

The first week in my new apartment I was pretty sad.  New place, new neighbors, new surroundings to adjust to.  And I didn’t even move that far!  Yet, ANY move is still tearing up the life you’ve settled in to, and creating a new one.  And that’s when I realized that I had been so comfortable in my old apartment that I didn’t bother leaving it much.  I didn’t go out and appreciate my neighborhood, I just exited the subway, walked upstairs, and lived in my apartment.

The sun rises on New York City

The sun rises on New York City

When you move to a new city, what do you do?  Most likely, you spend a fair amount of time at the beginning discovering local restaurants, bars, and hangouts.  You try to meet new people, and you’re open to opportunities.  So, I decided to treat my move to a new place, that’s not really a new neighborhood at all, as if it was a brand new city.  Each week, I have committed to go to at least one place I’ve never been before.  I go alone, I eat at the bar, and I challenge myself to meet at least one new person.  Some may become new friends, some could be potential opportunities for business, and still others might just be a lovely conversation for the evening, and some have offered a connection to another new place I have never been.

What I’ve learned is that it’s far too easy to become complacent in a way of being, or a place, or even a business strategy.  We stretch our comfort zone to discover something new, and then it becomes comfortable, and we tend to hang out in the comfort, rather than step out into the unknown.  So, my move has offered me the wonderful mind stretching opportunity to realize there is a hell of a lot I don’t know about places I thought I knew everything about.  It’s also made me explore what I feel comfortable with, and challenge myself to get uncomfortable, and for that I am very grateful!


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Signs Are What You Make of Them https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/signs-are-what-you-make-of-them/ https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/signs-are-what-you-make-of-them/#comments Tue, 08 Mar 2016 19:13:54 +0000 http://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/?p=5834 At some point or another, you have no doubt asked the universe for a “SIGN” that you are on the right path, or for help making a critical decision, or for some proof of something.  Sometimes, though, signs appear at your feet.  This happened to me, yesterday.  I was running to an event I was speaking at, and as I crossed the street, there lay a very large, and very dead, rat.

dead rat  on the street

dead rat on the street

Now, truth be told, this put an immediate damper on my spirit.  Why was there a dead rat in my path? And then, the dreaded mind fuck started – “What does this MEAN?”  Because, clearly, a dead rat on the street that you encounter on the way to a business presentation has a very important meaning, and this is very, very bad timing for such a devastating sign to show up in my path.  My mind races to all the potential negative scenarios, and then I wonder what the rat is in the animal totem guide.  It must be a harbinger of poison or cheese which clogs the arteries and if my doctor knows that I’ve eaten cheese he will tell me this does not help my cholesterol in the direction that he’d like, and I really need to get to the dry cleaner….

And then, in a moment of clarity, I was struck by the realization that I can MAKE this dead rat symbolize whatever I want it to.  We are so naturally inclined to connect signs to events, and, sadly, get lost in the powerlessness of someone else’s definition of what this may mean.  So, in that moment, I CHOSE to define this sign from the universe like this:

Heather, this rat has put itself in your path to let you know that, YOU’RE GONNA KILL IT TONIGHT!

With that, all worries and concerns dissipated, and I walked confidently to my event, and stood in my “I’m gonna kill it” pose, and it all worked out.

The point is – where are you looking to someone else’s words and description to define your own experience?  And, how does that work out for you?  What can you redefine, on your own terms, right now?  How can you adapt universal signs to positively influence your dreams?

I know a couple of you won’t be happy if I don’t give you the same satisfaction I was looking for – screw the fact that my mind might have been over obsessing about a rat – I, too, had to look up it’s symbolism just for kicks after getting home.  Here is what I found:

  1. A dead animal signifies transition
  2. If Rat has scurried across your path you are being asked to assert yourself in new areas that you have not yet explored. Perhaps it’s time to take up those new hobbies, challenge yourself by learning something new or simply taking the uncertain first steps towards your dreams. Rat is letting you know it’s time for “new beginnings” and change.  Alternatively you are being asked to evaluate the clutter around you. Is it time to purge old baggage and feelings that no longer serve you?  Time for a spring cleaning. Sell or giveaway all the physical things that are just filling up the space around you. In doing this you will often symbolically begin to clear old emotional issues and cluttered thinking. Allow yourself to feel as you purge. This cleansing act will make space for the new things to come. (Courtesty of Spirit Animal Totems.)

So, now I have both created my own positive outcome and been entirely validated since I just moved, am purging as much clutter as possible, and looking for new places and experiences. Interesting how universe can both reflect your circumstances and also give you the opportunity to step up to making your own rules.

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Why You Should Look Forward To Your Next Crappy Week https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/why-you-should-look-forward-to-your-next-crappy-week/ https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/why-you-should-look-forward-to-your-next-crappy-week/#respond Tue, 23 Feb 2016 17:08:22 +0000 http://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/?p=5804

We’ve all had them – a terrible, horrible, very bad, shitty, yucky, awful week.  It seems like it will never end.  We get upset, we have a range of emotions, we seem to attract even worse situations while stuck in the muck of a bad week, and if we could avoid them, we’d be delighted.

Here’s the thing, there is actually a lot of value that comes from a crappy week.  In this video, I share with you 4 reasons you should look forward to your next horrible week.  Hit the Play button on the video below to hear them!

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Today’s Brilliance: Fear is the Guidepost to Transformation https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/todays-brilliance-fear-is-the-guidepost-to-transformation/ https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/todays-brilliance-fear-is-the-guidepost-to-transformation/#comments Tue, 09 Feb 2016 18:11:04 +0000 http://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/?p=5764

Today’s blog is a video – join me in Sedona as I confront and learn from my own fears and share some inspiration about what that process can do for you in life, and in business.

Want to overcome your fear of not making enough money with your business?  Click here to join us for a great webinar to help you bust the fear, and move into creating profit with your brilliance!


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Today’s Brilliance: Your Next Epiphany Lies Beyond Your Vomit Zone https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/todays-brilliance-your-next-epiphany-lies-beyond-your-vomit-zone/ https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/todays-brilliance-your-next-epiphany-lies-beyond-your-vomit-zone/#respond Tue, 26 Jan 2016 12:45:16 +0000 http://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/?p=5527 If you’re like me, there are things in life that scare you.  It might be jumping out of an airplane, or it might be going on a first date, or it might be standing up to someone that is treating you with a lack of integrity.  Whatever it is, you know how it feels;

Waves of butterflies in your gut, and your chest.  They move around, they feel bad, and when they build up, they make you want to vomit.

Young woman making rude gesture on a bad date

This is what I call “The Vomit Zone™“.  Because, dealing with the Vomit Zone, well, makes you want to vomit, and who wants to vomit?

The gift, however, is that within that vomit zone lies something really huge for you – potential, possibility, confidence…..The Vomit Zone is what you have to journey through to grab hold of what you want.  And, as we all know, things that are worthwhile don’t come easy.  

If you can find a vomit zone, consider yourself LUCKY.  Yes, lucky.  Because this means that you have lots of places in your business or life or relationship that you can push beyond and you know what those places are.  The more vomit zones you push through, the harder it may become to find the next one – so that becomes your next challenge.  If you feel bored, it’s likely because you are not challenging yourself to venture in to the vomit zone, or spend some time figuring out where the next one is for you.

So, if you have an upcoming challenge that makes you confront that vomit zone, know that you have a lot of courage, and the result will be amazing growth!

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Today’s Brilliance: It’s Time To Come Out of Hiding https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/its-time-to-come-out-of-hiding/ https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/its-time-to-come-out-of-hiding/#respond Tue, 19 Jan 2016 14:16:48 +0000 http://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/?p=5476 Joy movieI recently saw the movie “Joy”.  (It’s a great movie to see if you are an entrepreneur!)  There’s a scene in it which was so relevant to what I do, I had to write it down!  Joy’s younger self confronts the older Joy, who has completely forgotten who she is and what she is meant to do in life, and she says:

That’s the funny thing about hiding.  You hide from yourself.”

Bull, in many ways, is just like this.  When you have bull, it was created as a way to protect yourself – usually from failure, from being hurt, from embarassment, etc.  That same bull, however, is also responsible for making you forget who you are at heart, and what you are meant to do and more importantly

Who You Are Meant to Be


The BrillianceWhen you stop hiding behind your bull, you start being the wonderful person you were born to be.  And it is THAT person that gives out the amazing energy that is authentically yours.  That energy makes people line up to work with you, and it is the foundation of the success you want in your business.

The other thing that happens when you stop hiding is that you stop tolerating what you don’t want.  There is a key change in the movie where Joy gets fed up with everyone telling her to give up and she takes things into her own control, and creates her own success.  The only difference between her, and other people that had a great idea, is that she refused to give up, and she fought and stayed true to what she believed.  Most people would have given up in her situation and hidden behind being a victim, or circumstances being beyond their control. That’s the only thing that set Joy ahead of them.

So, are you ready to stop hiding and start creating the success you want?

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Today’s Brilliance: Change Direction to Make a Change https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/change-direction-to-make-a-change/ https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/change-direction-to-make-a-change/#respond Tue, 12 Jan 2016 13:34:34 +0000 http://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/?p=5467 Image-1I took this photo after a run.  As I admired the view, I realized that I was facing the direction I had just run.  That got me realizing that for many years, I have run on this same path, in the same direction.  Day after day, I entered the park, and chose the exact same route – turn to my right, run around the loop, stop.  The sameness was really grinding on me.

Then I started realizing, it can become sub-conscious to always choose the same route, and not just in running, but in everything you do.

Think about it, how much of this are you doing right now:


  • Taking the same form of transportation to work every day
  • Going to the same exercises classes every week (and feeling bored because you always do the same routine)
  • Walking or driving home on the same streets every day
  • Seeing the same people over and over
  • Trying the same marketing strategies you always do

Routine, though comfortable, can also lead to boredom and, in business, to lack of results.  It occurred to me that if I had one area where I was doing the same thing and not changing my results, then that meant I had to look at where else in my business, and my life, I was relying on the same habits.

The BrillianceWhat I learned is that it wasn’t just the run – I wanted some changes in other areas of my life, and this epiphany helped me tap into those spaces and think about how I could bring about the change I wanted in each of them.  So, if you find yourself craving change, and unclear how to make it happen, here are some ideas:

  1. Think about WHERE you want changes – life, weight, relationships, business?
  2. Determine WHAT you want – e.g. to lose weight, to be happier, to have/get out of a relationship, to generate more income, etc
  3. In each area where you want change, now think about what you are doing, habitually, to reach those goals that is no longer working
  4. Figure out one new thing you can bring in to each area, and see what happens!

When I realized my running path was the same, I started running the other direction!  I know it seems crazy, but I felt like I had found an entirely new place to run – everything looked different from the other way!  The run seemed longer, I suddenly noticed scenery I had ignored, and it made the run more fun.

When you want to create change, anywhere, you have to create that change by making a change.


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Today’s Brilliance: You Are Surrounded by Money https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/you-are-surrounded-by-money/ https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/you-are-surrounded-by-money/#respond Wed, 06 Jan 2016 15:38:02 +0000 http://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/?p=5283 It’s a new year, and this is the first blog post on my new website!  The new near always brings with it the feeling of infinite potential – a clean slate from which to begin again, put the past behind us, yadda yadda.  (By the way, if you can declare a clean slate in January, you can actually declare that same clean slate ANY time, just in case you didn’t know…. 😉 )

On a recent call with one of my clients, I had one of my epiphanies that I thought was worth sharing.  It was about money.  So many people get lost in anxiety about money – that horrible lack/not enough syndrome.  Believing that somehow there is a limited supply.  The Bull - smaller is that it’s comfortable to complain about not having enough because it’s a state that you may have been used to more than not.  And, of course you know that whatever you focus your thoughts on is what you attract – so the more you focus on the lack of money around you, the more you experience that lack.

Now, we know that common counsel would be, “just focus on abundance!”  As if it’s easy, right – your credit card debt and $7.50 bank balance glare at you, and you should just think “I am abundant” and magically, that bank balance gets bigger?


And that’s when The Brilliance hit me!  The truth is, money is all around you.  Literally, you are surrounded by money.  Don’t get it?  Let me spell it out for you.  Money is paper – have any paper nearby?  It’s made from the same stuff as money.  So if you’ve got piles of paper around you, that’s money.  Do you happen to be sitting in a chair right now?  Then you are sitting on money!  Yep your floor, your chairs, your sofa were all made from money.  And, if you’re standing in a pair of shoes or slippers, then you are standing in money!  Oh, and if you ever drink out of a glass or a can or a cup, those were all made from money.  Have any houses or buildings nearby?  Made from money.  How about a car or a bus or a train?  Money, money, money.

Money is, literally, all around you.  You’ve just been looking at it in a transformed state.

dollar sign - 200pxSo, the next time you have a hard time stepping in to being surrounded by abundance, look again.  It is everywhere and all you have to do is see it.

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The Rebrand is Finally Here! https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/the-rebrand-is-finally-here/ https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/the-rebrand-is-finally-here/#comments Tue, 05 Jan 2016 13:03:24 +0000 http://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/?p=5371

The rebrand is finally here!  I’ve spent years leading with the bull, and now, I’m leading with the BRILLIANCE.  

My new theme is Bull to Brilliance – bull is the beginning, but the destination that I offer is the creation of a brilliance-based business where profits and clients come naturally instead of through struggle. So, instead of telling Lies of the Day, I’ll be sharing The Daily Brilliance.  

As I start this new mission, it’s really about being here for you.  My ultimate dream is to inspire you, and help you:

  • Grow your profit
  • Connect with and create from your greatest brilliance
  • Create the path to the life you want – whether that be about financial freedom, travel, experiences – this is the place to get the way to what you want

Today marks the beginning, but there is so much more to come!  Please take a look around, let us know your thoughts, and keep an eye out for what’s on the way.

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Today’s Lie: You Don’t Have a Choice https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/the-power-of-choice/ https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/the-power-of-choice/#respond Tue, 24 Nov 2015 12:04:00 +0000 http://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/?p=4907 Today’s blog is a video.  I was just in France right before the horrible events that recently took place in Paris.  I had taken some photos and videos of what was a wonderful trip.  I decided to use them for inspiration instead of staying stuck in grief.  Today’s blog is about our power to choose.  While I was on my recent vacation, I was struck by how easy it is to forget that every moment is a choice.  Hit the play button and I hope you will be inspired to remember the power to choose in your own life.


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Today’s Lie: Your Dreams Will Never Come True https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/todays-lie-your-dreams-will-never-come-true/ https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/todays-lie-your-dreams-will-never-come-true/#respond Tue, 17 Nov 2015 12:49:52 +0000 http://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/?p=4899

The-Bull-3-300x84On my recent vacation I got thinking about dreams.  How many times have you thought, “If only that dream came true…” or, “if only I had enough money, I’d…”  Dreams are what illuminate us, what inspires us, what draws us forward.  And yet, we spend more time making excuses about our dreams than making our dreams.  Time, money, and bust/responsibilities top the list.  (You know that in the past week alone, you’ve said, “I would but I just don’t have the time” or some form of one of these excuses as a reason NOT to do something you actually really want to do!)

The-BustYou see, what I realized is, it’s up to us to MAKE our dreams come true.  A dream doesn’t just magically transpire, a dream comes true because we eliminate all excuses that stand in the way of that dream and then make it happen.  I made a little video I am sharing here, and I’d love to hear how it inspired you, and what dream you will MAKE come true next.  Just comment below.

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Today’s Lie: You Can’t Survive Without Your Cellphone https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/todays-lie-you-cant-survive-without-your-cellphone/ https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/todays-lie-you-cant-survive-without-your-cellphone/#respond Tue, 13 Oct 2015 12:51:12 +0000 http://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/?p=4661 I left the house recently without my phone. I panicked.
“Should I go back and get it? Will I be able to do what I need to do without my phone? Will life as I know it cease to exist?”
I decided that not to go back home, and to trust that my life would be OK. What resulted was a great experience. Although, an inability to contact my elderly relatives affected me in a really bad way. Within hours of starting this experiment, I was trying to view more cellphones online that I could give to my elderly relatives that don’t control our lives in the all encompassing way that many phones of today do.

The BustI actually looked at it and noticed my surroundings, instead of being oblivious to them. Instead of taking a picture of the sign in the subway station, I actually noticed the tiles and the colors and the detail of the tile work. Looking at how long I had to wait for the next subway, it said 4 minutes. Without my usual ability to play a few games of Candy Crush I actually experienced the passage of time. 4 minutes felt like 4 minutes, and not a blur of dulled senses in which I am annoyed to have to interrupt the sliding of colors to board a subway car.

Apple Silver iPhone 6 Plus showing the home screen with iOS 8.I noticed the clothes people were wearing, in fact I just noticed people in general. I overheard their conversations because my senses were actually engaged. I was treated to this snippet passing 3 women, “….well that just proves that you can have sex with a nice guy.” Just to think I would’ve missed that conversation entirely if I were looking at my cell phone.

samsungThis blog post is actually being written from my memory because I actually used brain cells while I was without my phone. Instead of typing notes into my phone to type later I am typing completely from memory, shocker!

I noticed the angle of the sun on the buildings and saw people dressed in beautiful big feather costumes and colors. I didn’t take a photo of any of them of course because I didn’t have my phone with me. So, I have no concrete proof of what I saw, and now it’s a moment that only I get to cherish, somehow a delightful secret. And because I didn’t have my phone and I didn’t take a picture I was actually inspired to go ask people why they were dressed in such colorful, fun costumes. I learned there was a parade to celebrate Hispanic culture. Wow I actually spoke to someone instead of just witnessing from afar and taking a photo.

The power of true communication and experience is felt most strongly when we are engaged, live, with what’s right in front of us. No cell phones, no technology. Just be where you are.

So I challenge you to take an afternoon or an entire day without your cell phone. See what parts of the world and time you’re missing out on and try to experience it instead of dulling it out.

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Today’s Lie: Money Shows Up if You Avoid It https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/how-to-have-more-money/ https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/how-to-have-more-money/#respond Mon, 05 Oct 2015 20:57:18 +0000 http://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/?p=4610 The Bull 3Let’s talk money. At the end of the day, whether you consider yourself motivated by money, or not, if you want a business, you still are in the work for money. Whether that money is for charity, for financial freedom, for a vacation, a new car….it doesn’t matter, you provide a service or a product because, ideally, you love what you DO, but to continue doing what you love, there has to be a way for you to pay for a roof over your head, some food, and some clothes, at the bare minimum. However, most of the time, we don’t look money in the face. It’s like this idea of “if I ignore money, then I won’t have to admit how bad my situation is.” Or, “if I don’t look at the bank account, I will feel better.”

The BustThen how come, the day it comes to pay your bills, you are freaking out? You go to pay your rent, and you realize you’re not sure whether you have enough for food. Or, you put everything on a credit card, and the debt on that card has become so big it’s like carrying a 20-pound weight in your pocket. The answer is, if you avoid looking at your money, you are more likely to end up not just surprised, but also stressing out about bills, and confused as to how this struggle keeps repeating month after month. If you’re sick of the struggle, here are a few ideas for you:

  1. Talk about money every day. It’s not vain, it’s smart. Look at your bank account every day to understand, every day, where you are on the scale that you want to be. Take stock of your investments before bed so that you’ve got an idea of what sort of state they’re all in. You could also talk about the future of finances and discuss things like Bitcoin with friends. You may decide that you would like to get on board the crypto train yourself – if so, you’ll definitely be interested in Bitcoin Aktien investieren.
  2. Make a goal. Whether it’s $500 or $5,000 or more, make sure you know how much money you WANT each month or week so that you have a focus point.Depositphotos_34783159_l
  3. Make a strategy. Determine, month-by-month, what you can do to make that money you want show up in your bank account. Don’t waiver on your prices to be nice, you have to pay for food and a home, at a minimum, you are not a charity, even if you want to donate to one. If your business bills are costing a fortune, visit a website like h2obuildingservices.co.uk to see what can be done about this. Don’t just sit around letting the money drain out of your business account!
  4. Respect money. If you owe money, pay on time, and if you are owed money, demand payment on time. It is a sign of respect, and integrity, to make payments on time so use a collections company if you have to. This works both ways, which is why it’s important to understand this point. If you do not give the respect to others, you will not receive it back in your business.
  5. Pay yourself first. Our habit, in our business, is to throw every dollar we make into expenses. Starting now, contribute 1% of every dollar you earn into a savings account, preferably one you can’t get into too easily, so you begin to build a mountain of security for yourself. Hey, every dollar is a dollar, and they add up fast. If you’ve only seen that on the debt side, then start surprising yourself in the positive!

What are your money success stories? Post them below!

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Today’s Lie: You Can’t Accomplish Anything https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/todays-lie-you-cant-accomplish-anything/ https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/todays-lie-you-cant-accomplish-anything/#comments Tue, 15 Sep 2015 10:08:02 +0000 http://thebullbustercafe.com/?p=4556 The Bull 3I was watching the movie “Lucy” for the 20th time, and I was really struck by the message of time.  Too often it seems like we are “running out of” time or “don’t have enough” time….and use this as justification for not finishing the things on our to-do list.  Or, we determine that we just won’t be able to accomplish anything because of a time shortage, and the excuses abound.  But time is not an excuse.  Time is a measure.

The BustWe are all subject to 24-hour days (unless you perhaps drink a lot of coffee and stay awake for longer). So, the problem is not finding time, the problem is focus and priorities.  In the movie, of course Lucy knows she is running out of time in her human form and wants to accomplish some specific things.  This leads her to align her actions with the results she wants.  And, you see, THAT is the real lesson for us.  We have made everything in our lives a priority which then makes every effort aligned to them a conflict with another action towards another priority.  So, it feels like everything we do takes us away from something, instead of bringing us toward a goal.

time bullIf you are frustrated by time, here are some thoughts on how to accomplish what you want with the time you have:

  1. Make clear priorities.  Stop making everything a priority, and choose 1 or 2 priorities.  If you have more than 2, you create a competition loophole that doesn’t serve your desire to accomplish things.  If you can’t cut down to 1 – 2 priorities, than make 1 – 2 priorities per DAY, or per WEEK.  By creating short-term focus, it makes it easier to accomplish your list instead of letting the daily fire-drills of life sabotage your goals day in and day out.
  2. Align your actions to your priorities. Once you choose your priorities, your actions become clear.  You can determine what you need to do to stay aligned with your priorities and your goals. If fire drills come up, ask whether that fire drill really needs your attention now, or not.  For example, if a family member becomes ill, you may need to drop everything to take care of them.  However, if someone else has a work emergency and tells you they “need you to do this now” – get to the heart of what this work fulfills, and set clear boundaries, and determine what flexibility exists in their request.  You may be able to negotiate a timeline.
  3. Create a schedule. Having clear boundaries on your time is an excellent way to create focus and accomplishment.  So, you might use an automated reply on your voicemail and email to let people know you only take calls and emails at a specific time each day, allowing you to focus on your deliverables inbetween.

Click here for more tips to manage and grow your business.

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Video Making Tips https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/video-making-tips/ https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/video-making-tips/#comments Tue, 18 Aug 2015 15:40:11 +0000 http://thebullbustercafe.com/?p=4541 This week is another video blog.  I’m taking a great class on making your own videos, so thought I’d put those lessons to good use.

This video was made with fun in mind – but watching other people’s videos is a great way to learn what to do, and what not to do.  For example, notice the parts where I am in partial sunlight, versus fully in the shade, and how that impacts lighting.  Notice the scene changes, and how not all the scene cuts are perfect.  Notice the zoom in and zoom outs versus the section where we have the same viewpoint for a longer time.  Where do you feel engaged/interested and why?  (These are the things to replicate.)  Where do you feel the video loses your interest and why? (These are the things to avoid doing in your videos.)  Enjoy!

After you’re done watching, you can download a free resource kit by clicking here!



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Today’s Lie: Networking is About Swapping As Many Business Cards As Possible https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/todays-lie-networking-is-about-swapping-as-many-business-cards-as-possible/ https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/todays-lie-networking-is-about-swapping-as-many-business-cards-as-possible/#respond Tue, 11 Aug 2015 15:25:54 +0000 http://thebullbustercafe.com/?p=4519 Today’s Lie of the Day is brought to you by video – hit play to hear 3 tips to boost your results at your next networking event:


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Today’s Lie: You Have to Make Everyone Happy https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/todays-lie-you-have-to-make-everyone-happy/ https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/todays-lie-you-have-to-make-everyone-happy/#respond Tue, 04 Aug 2015 19:24:02 +0000 http://thebullbustercafe.com/?p=4496 The Bull 3I recently found some notes from several years ago in a coaching program I was taking at the time.  I had scribbled down a conversation between myself, and, my self.  It was down and dirty and a lot of expletives were thrown around as I battled a bad people-pleasing issue I had going on.  My favorite part of the exercise was:

Me: “So, basically, you’ve wasted years of your life, doing what everyone else thinks you should do and now you can’t make a fucking decision about anything without seeking someone else’s input on what you should do! That’s fucking lame!”


Me 2: “I see your point.”


Me: “Stop trying to please ME of all people! You know you’re pissed at what I just  said.”


I know, it’s a nice fantasy that we can make everyone we work with, everyone we are friends with, and everyone we are family with, be happy 100% of the time.


The BustThe truth is, the harder we try to make someone happy, the more likely we will make them UNhappy.  First off, it takes a lot of work to make someone happy, but try to make MORE than one person happy, oy!  As we work hard to please others, it is inevitable that we have to sacrifice a part of our own happiness in the process.  How do you feel when you make a sacrifice to please someone, and they don’t appreciate it?  Angry? Resentful?…And if you feel bitter, imagine how you are making the object of your pleasing feel!


Now, bring this habit into running a business, or being a leader, and it’s a recipe for complete disaster.  I’ve learned the hard way, that when you lead a group, it is just not possible to please every one, every time.  (I did try really hard, though!)  That trying got me really tired, and it used up too much of my time.


people please-medSo, I’ve learned that to lead, you have to accept that some of your decisions may make people unhappy.  If you have employees, you need to set a standard and hold everyone to it.  You have to actually tell employees what you need and how you want things done, and then hold them accountable to doing those things.  Unfortunately, when we just assume that everyone “gets it” we end up frustrated and confused at how on earth someone working for us could be so far off target.  Worse yet, if you rely on people-pleasing skills, you try giving rewards to make a bad performing employee do better, and you end up teaching them that the worse they perform, the more likely they will get a reward!  It starts with the leadership they are getting – we have to help them succeed.


When you run a business, people-pleasing can kill your profit.  This habit is what will have you lowering your rates because you buy into sob stories, or because you want so badly to be liked that you start the relationship right off with anything you can do to make someone like you.  Now, you’ve set a precedent – when someone comes back to do business with you, they will want more price cuts from you because you have trained them to devalue your service, which, in turn, will have you devaluing your service too, and, possibly, yourself – don’t do it!


Sometimes, you have to say no to what you don’t want in order to allow the space for what you do want.


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Today’s Lie: Your Business Cards Are Great For Getting Business https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/how-to-make-a-good-business-card/ https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/how-to-make-a-good-business-card/#comments Tue, 28 Jul 2015 11:34:42 +0000 http://thebullbustercafe.com/?p=4482 The Bull 3Today’s blog comes from getting absolutely frustrated with some of the business cards I see. Frustrated, because, I believe that if you want to succeed at your business, you CAN, but you need to change how you’re going about using the tools that can get you business! Do you know what it’s called a business card? Because, the point is, it’s supposed to connect you with BUSINESS! Now, if you think “Heather, duh!” double check your cards. If you really understand that your card is meant to get you business, here are a few things you better double check, and if any of these are YOU, then please, get new cards immediately! This post may seem harsh, but I know you can do better, so it has to be said!

The BustYou don’t list your name on your card. Yup, I actually got one of these cards recently, no joke. If you have a business name with your name in it, make sure you put your first and last name separately! Here’s an example. I have a business called Heather’s Handbags. My last name is not Handbag. So, if I don’t put my last name on there, you are going to be pissed! (With good reason.) More importantly, you can’t look me up on social media (if I don’t have my last name on my card, it follows suit that it might not be on my website, or, that my website is under development, and now what do you do?!) If you do not want to just put your last name, why not have fun with it? You can look up your last name meanings and weave that into your business card, it will give people your full name whilst intriguing them. It is even better if your last name relates to the work you are in or has a characteristic that helps your business.

Man holding business card.Your email address requires a microscope to see. Seriously, why on earth would you make the most important part of your card so hard to read? How can I do business with you if I cannot read your email address or phone number or website? If you think you will get business from people, you MUST make it easy for them to contact you! If I have to buy magnifying glasses to read your card, it’s going in the garbage. 🙁

Your email address is confusing. Many of you use a gmail account for business. (By the way, if you want to be taken seriously, buy a domain name, and use that as your email. A gmail address suggests you have a hobby, not a business.) The other problem with using a gmail (or aol, or outlook…) account is that no doubt, you are duplicating someone else’s email address, and so have to put a number someplace in the email address to distinguish yourself. Guess what numbers you all pick? The number 1 and the number 0. You see where I am headed, right? I am already frustrated that I cannot read your email address because it’s so small, and NOW because it is so small, I cannot figure out whether that is a number or a letter! AAARGH! With the tiny fonts you choose, it becomes impossible to tell whether it’s a “1” or the letter “l”. Is that the number 0, or the letter o? Seriously, stop with the numbers and just get a real email address!

Group of people representing diverse professionsYou list all 25 of your businesses. I get it, you are multi-talented and have lots of interests, great! But, the same way I don’t go to a Burger King and expect or trust they have good sushi, your exorbitant menu of services on your card completely confuses everyone you give it to, and makes it impossible to understand which business you excel at. I have worked with countless people to help them tie together all the things they do in a way that potential customers can understand, so I know it can be done with a simple business statement! You must make it easy for us to understand what you do, or your card is going in the garbage.

Like a resume, your card will end up in a stack of other cards on somebody’s desk. (Unless they scan your card, and by the way, a lot of scanners cannot read your small fonts either, so again, what a pity if someone scans your card, then chucks it, only to realize, too late, that your email wasn’t captured, bummer for you! And we would have hired you if only we could have figured out how to reach you!) Make sure you stand out, instead of getting chucked.

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Today’s Lie: You Have to Tolerate Things You Don’t Like https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/todays-lie-you-have-to-tolerate-things-you-dont-like/ https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/todays-lie-you-have-to-tolerate-things-you-dont-like/#comments Tue, 21 Jul 2015 11:09:00 +0000 http://thebullbustercafe.com/?p=4472 The Bull 3Right now, you are probably walking around unaware of how much crap you are tolerating in your life.  By crap, I am talking about things that you actually hate tolerating, but have come to make excuses about, in order to sleepwalk into believing you have to tolerate them.  And you wonder why you are sick and tired!

The BustAt a recent intensive with my business mentor, we were given a really simple exercise that blew my mind.  The instructions were:

  1. Write down 50 things you are tolerating right now. (e.g. a bad haircut, cracked dishes, a shitty boss, being overweight, clutter….)
  2. Write down your top business goals
  3. Figure out what you are tolerating that is holding you back from accomplishing these goals

bladderI went through the exercise, and part way through, realized I was tolerating a full bladder.  “Hahahaaaaaaaaaaa,” I thought that was so funny.  I didn’t want to leave the room out of fear of missing important information, or being rude.  Then I got emotional.  I also got up and emptied my bladder.  On the way there and back, I realized how often I tolerate a full bladder.  I make my biological needs secondary to friends’ conversations because I don’t want to interrupt them.  To speakers because I don’t want them to think I’m rude leaving the room.  To turbulence because my seatbelt should be fastened…then I thought about other ways I tolerate behavior that makes me feel secondary, unseen, unheard, and BOY did I get mad!

In fact, I was staying at a hotel, and the night before we did this exercise, my neighbors came back after midnight, made TONS of noise, blasted the TV, banged their furniture, and I thought, “They’ll be quiet eventually, I know they will.  I don’t want to make them mad by calling security.”  Well, the second night, when they repeated their actions, I picked up the damn phone, and called security, and they finally piped down, and it made me realize I don’t actually have to tolerate most of the bullshit I’ve put up with in my life.

tolerateNow, this exercise is not easy.  Well, actually, it’s fairly easy to make a list of the things you are tolerating.  The hard part is doing something to change those tolerations.  And, what if some of those tolerations are in your spouse, or your kids?  How do you navigate toleration versus compromise, because you can’t compromise your tolerances.  You may have to move away from people or places that behave in ways you do not tolerate – you cannot change them, you can only change yourself.

At the very least, I highly recommend you do this exercise to get an idea of what you are tolerating.  From that awareness, you can make a plan to change, and those changes will radically impact your life and your business.

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Today’s Lie: You Should Act Happy Even When You’re Not https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/todays-lie-you-should-act-happy-even-when-youre-not/ https://bullbusterbusinesscoaching.com/todays-lie-you-should-act-happy-even-when-youre-not/#respond Tue, 14 Jul 2015 11:25:13 +0000 http://thebullbustercafe.com/?p=4464 The Bull 3I recently saw the movie “Inside Out” and was profoundly impacted by one of the messages I took from it – the idea that we are often told things like, “Keep your chin up!” or “Put on a happy face” which give us the impression that it’s important to hide our feelings, especially when we’re sad. Add to that the habit of prescribing medication for people that are apparently more sad than we think is the normal allowed amount of sadness to have, and we have a real recipe for hiding out.

The Bust
What we learn in the movie is that sadness is the catalyst for joy. Sadness is what makes people feel connected to us, and when we feel sad, people want to help us. When we allow that help, we can move from sad to happy. Of course, some people might be confusing depression with sadness, which requires proper medications. Cannabis such as honey badger haze is also a great alternative to lift mood and feel the state of happy motivation.

inside out2So, I have to wonder, are we just so afraid of feelings that we actually medicate them away instead of actually creating the process for the connection of sadness and joy to be normalized? What is it about sadness and emotion that scares us so much? And, why do we tend to hide and prefer to be alone with our sadness and think it’s a burden on others?

Seems to me that we should just feel what we have to feel and learn that it’s ok to tell people we are sad when that is our truth.

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