It’s February 18th. How you making out on those goals and resolutions? I bet you got a few done, and the rest, if we were talking, you’d tell me “I’m working on it,” or some other variation of “it’s not done yet, but I’m trying to get it done.” Some goals, I’m certain you will accomplish, but dammit, there are a bunch of them that just are not going to get done. You can swear to me that they will, and tell me I’m being too harsh and impatient, but you know that you said, “THIS YEAR, I’m getting it done!” at least 5 previous years, and you didn’t. You know that sometime later this year, you will run out of steam, and after the middle of the year, you will start getting frustrated that you haven’t tacked said goals, and then you will be pining for the New Year to reset the clock and swear, once again, that THIS YEAR you will get it done….(sorry, did I get too far into your brain?) 😉
Most of us have been trained to set action-based goals. So, first, figure out what you want:
“Hmmmm, I’d like to lose 10 pounds, and start using social media for my business.”
Then you set some actions:
“To lose weight, I better exercise. I’ll sign up for a gym, and run twice a week.”
“To start using social media, I have to set up my accounts, I’ll do that. Maybe I’ll start by choose a cheap standing desk to rest my laptop on.”
Winter comes, you realize you hate feeling like a hamster on a wheel in a gym, and it’s waaaaay too cold out this winter to run outside, so you’ll just figure that all out when it warms up….and so goes that goal. You set up accounts on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter, and you’re all excited! Then 26 people you went to high school with track you down, and overwhelm you with messages asking you to give them more lives in Candy Crush, nobody replies to anything you put on LinkedIn, and Twitter is just too much information, so you focus on cleaning your house, and make plans to go drinking with friends….end of that goal.
You see, if you have no emotional tie to your goals, then there is really no motivation to get them done. So, it’s not your actions that are the problem, it’s that you forgot to involve your FEELINGS. What if you want to lose weight, yes, but you knew that when you made the goal of running twice a week you felt your heart dip, you just told yourself “mind over matter” or some weird mental phrase and thought it would win out. It didn’t. Never does. You have to be able to both connect emotionally to your desired result in a positive way AND feel that same positive energy when you make your goals and actions!
In business, if you hate social media, guess what? Putting “sign up for social media” on your goal list is actually NOT going to make you get that done! The REAL goal, perhaps, is to generate opportunity for your business. And, beyond that, you want the business, because you need to pay bills. OK, but beyond THAT is the fact that you better be deeply connected to how you are serving the people that become your opportunities because if you are not, then when you generate that business, you’re going to do everything you can to sabotage it, because you’ll hate the work that results from people asking you for help.
See how you just cannot escape yourself? Annoying, right?
So, here are some tips that you might use right now to REset this year’s goals so you actually get them done:
- Let your feelings tell you if your goal is on target. Say each goal out loud, and then listen. Is your body catapulting with excitement at your goal? Is your heart starting to slide down to your stomach? Did you pass out? Pay attention, and recalibrate the goal until your heart sings at the thought of accomplishing your goal.
- Get to the WHY. Make sure you understand WHY you have set each goal. If it’s just for money, or because someone else is “making you do it” those are probably not going to motivate you into action. Try tapping into the deeper vision you have that each goal is a part of, so that you’re fully vested in the result. It’s like your brain is the President of your being, and it needs to engage the employees of the heart in the full picture, or they are going to play video games all day instead of getting to work!
- Fess up. If your feelings about a particular goal or action have changed, rather than beat yourself up, just recalibrate the goal and/or action until it’s more aligned with where you are now.