How many people have told you this one? It could be about your business goals, your romantic life, your travel and financial aspirations, your career, well, anything! If you haven’t heard it from your parents, you’ve probably heard it from a friend, coworker, or family member. Then you might have turned it into a belief that fuels all future expectations. So, you ask yourself,
“Is my expectation realistic?“
You grill yourself about your business plan. You wonder if you should make or change your career plans, and, perhaps you do. You lower your expectations of yourself to the point that you determine is apparently realistic, and then if you don’t meet your expectations, you can always revise them….
Just whose expectations are we supposed to live by? When someone tells you that your expectations are not realistic, realize, they are judging you by THEIR standards. Since whatever life experiences they have had have led them to create their own reality of what one can and cannot expect, they are simply holding you to their standard. So, in essence, when someone tells you that your expectations are unrealistic, what they are really saying is:
“Based on my own life experiences, and what I have found to be true, your expectations fall outside what I know is realistic, so I would suggest you change your expectations so they fit into my scope of reality.”
Now, that was super long winded, so hopefully you already didn’t want to hear that statement! And, I hate to tell you, but if you ever TOLD someone they have unrealistic expectations, you also judged their capabilities based on your own experience.
We all need to remember that what is possible for someone else is undoubtedly different than what we are capable of. Think of a child – if you tell that child to limit their expectations at every turn, he or she may grow up believing they can’t accomplish whatever you told them they can’t. Why would you do that? Why not create the belief in them that if they set their mind to something, they have the potential to achieve it? And, even if they don’t succeed the first, tenth, or even twentieth time, why not inspire them onward instead of tearing them down? So, if you’d want to inspire a child, why not your friend, your relative, or your coworker?
BullBusting Challenge – In the next week, find someone struggling to believe they can accomplish something really important to them, and offer them whatever inspiration you can to achieve it!