Has any of this ever happened to you:
- A friend or loved one that you’ve known a long time, and trusted with all your heart, completely betrays you?
- A random stranger shoves into you and doesn’t apologize.
- You get bullied repeatedly by someone in your social circle
- You get stood up
Ok, this list can get pretty long – basically someone treats you like crap, and you lament “WHAT A JERK!” and find all kinds of ways to justify your feelings, and then you go and tell your friends what happened, repeatedly, so you can get their affirmation that this person is a jerk, and you feel really validated by their agreement….
As time passes, and you look at these “jerks” from a different perspective, you will probably realize they are not jerks. In fact, they are actually your teachers. You may not have enjoyed the lesson, or the way you learned it, or the emotions it evoked. But, in the end, I bet if you think back to the lesson itself, you might even find it within your heart to thank some of these people. (In thought if not in person!)
Sometimes our teachers are around for a while because we resist the lesson they are teaching us. And sometimes, these wonderful teachers stick around a while so we can experiment and realize what parts of ourselves still need attention and growth before we can let them go.
Relationships – fights, break-ups, and so forth – are probably one of the biggest areas of our lives where we encounter more learning than any other source. Like you, I’ve found plenty of reasons to justify why some guys were jerks, however, that just left me feeling emotionally crap. When I found the strength and the will to focus on the lesson, rather than the behavior, I felt much more peaceful about the person. And, in fact, on a higher level, I could actually visualize them behaving as they did out of complete love and compassion for my highest good.
BullBusting Challenge – think of someone in your life that’s driving you crazy, hurting you, pissing you off, frustrating you, etc. Now bring your attention from them to YOU. What emotions are you feeling because of their actions? How is that emotion helping or hurting you right now? How has it served you in the past? What did you, or did you not, do because of this scenario, and how was that a good thing? What can you thank this person for?